Dry Reference

take your favorite grainy sandwich bread &, optionally, toast two slices

1. BOTTOM SLICE gets balsamic vinaigrette — preferably administered through some kind of misting apparatus for even coverage
2. then slather with your favorite hummus
3. load up with thinnnnn cucumber slices
4. add cheese slices if desired, preferably something pale
5. mound on some alfalfa sprouts, or other sprouts
6. TOP SLICE gets dijon mustard

optional: capers, celery seed

tri-color spiral pasta, al dente

your favorite pesto

your favorite mushrooms (optional)

pine nuts

best feta you can find (or your favorite salty crumbly cheese)

MIX IT TOGETHER

make coffee,

(maybe brewed with a small spoonful of almond powder)

drink it black

w/a little coconut oil in the cup.

it floats on top;

happy lips

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eat toast with it: slathered in coconut oil & blueberry jam

– soak the shit out of some sticky rice (somewheres between 3 and 30 hours)

– cook to goo, in coconut milk & 1-2 tablespoons coconut oil (frequent or near-constant stirring probably required, lid-off recommended)

– roll into 1 to 3inch balls and/or pattycakes and/or amorphous globules

** optional: shove an almond or hazlenut in each riceglom

– coat the balls in a suitable crumb(l)y topping, e.g. nut meal or [pulverized [graham cracker/cookie/biscuit/cold cereal/granola etc]] — (my topping typically = dried almond pulp from nutmilking) — .. (could substitute any kinda flour in a pinch, but this would be a grave textural sacrifice)

– fry in coconut oil to goldenbrown crispystuffs

– dust the hotgreasyballs in powdersugar & cinnamon

–  dry on rack

– eat

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RED BEAN. GREEN TEA. PUMPKIN. TARO. BLUE PEA FLOWER.

make gently purple all over.
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+ diced cucumbers in a bowl (usually 1 serving for me is half of one of those giant canadian fuckers)

+ minimal amount of soy sauce (.75 tablespoon perhap)

+ combine & stir/toss gently for a good 20 seconds to a minute — cukes should absorb soy sauce nicely

add these things:

+ black pepper, dill, fresh minced garlic – 1-3 cloves

+ crushed up bits of those wasa crackers or other grainy numcrunch; i’ve been burning through this box of fancy pumpkin seed cheddar crispbread

super extra note: i like to eat it with a tiny spatula to get every bit outta the bowl, less awkward than a spoon

[[[[[[[[[i also use my tiny spatula to get the last chunks out of jam and nut butter jars etc… then i get the last last of it out by adding a little water & giving a shake; use the liquid as the start of a sauce or curry.spatspatspat]]]]]]]]]

• cooked kamut/khorasan wheat berries, chilled (main ingredient; or substitute other grain)

• cucumber (diced) (roughly 1:2 with kamut or to taste)

• red onion (minced) (roughly 1:2 with  cucumber, or more)

• black olives (chopped, diced or minced) (roughly 1:4 with onion)

• sexiest feta available.. or something bleu… some crumbly cheese with zing, to taste (if the salad is likely to sit around in the fridge for more than 6 hours, withhold feta to avoid sliminess… instead crumble over individual portions when serving)

• zest of X number of lemons (about three lemons’ worth per cup of uncooked kamut, which seems like maybe half a lemon per serving. if this isn’t achievable simply use all available zestable zests.. could substitute fresh lemon juice or somesuch. if there’s time, let the zest dry out before using [between 1-5 hrs depending on factors…], ideally getting it dry enough so’s it can be crumbled in)

• cayenne, a largeish dash

• paprika, a lesser dash

• black pepper, a heavy-handed dash

• (NO salt! there’s plenty from the olives & feta)

• generous slew of raw sunflower seeds (optional but highly recommended for keeping everything else dry/achieving maximal fluffiness)

• indulgent slew of raw pine nuts (optional)

• sprinkling of raw sesame seeds (optional)

• sprinkling of raw pumpkin seeds (optional) (significantly increases the crunch factor)

• broken flax seeds (optional) (more crunch. cracked seeds preferable to ground, since flax meal is so ravenously absorbent/oily. if using sprinkle only over individual portions [~1 TB per] when serving, to avoid egg-like flaxslime glomming everything up as it the wet ingredients make it turn to ooze. schluuupppp.)

• dress, or don’t. i don’t.

• more optional additional ingredients: most e’erthing

goal re: proportions = looking for visible flecks of pepper & feta dispersed pleasingly. each biggish spoonful should have a wee little chunk or two of olive, & proportionally more of everything else.

^ i rarely accomplish this due to impoverished olive supply and laziness re: cutting them as fine as is necessary…  olives/other veggies can be gently pulsed in food processor but this will make the whole salad a little less “bright” and crisp in appearance.  more importantly this will tend to make it significantly wetter, particularly if other veggies are added (though the cuke is mostly to blame)…  it benefits greatly from 10 minute air-out in a big roomy strainer after assembly, during which any added nuts/seeds will also absorb moisture.

in the event of a major fuckup that somehow renders it completely sodden and unappetizingly sloplike, carefully folding in dried nut pulp/meal or breadcrumbs by the spoonful helps.

…. it can also be wokked up (sans cheese) into a hot salad to get around insurmountable moisture problems. (if doing it hot purposefully, swap cuke for zook)

+ make spätzle or other pasta; reserve the water

+ cook some pert little mushrooms (e.g. baby bella), halved, in a little oil on low-medium heat until they start to exude their juicefluids, then add sherry & about 1 tablespoon honey & reduce.. if liquid runs low add more sherry and/or red wine

+ at the same time, cook some beef & cube it & set aside, OR, better, cook to almost-done, then cube and throw in with the mushrooms when they’re about halfway done

+ sauce option: combine pan juices of beef and mushrooms with a little pasta water & simmer till desired

+ pile everything together, add pepper, salt to taste, cheese if desired

(15-20 min prep, 10-15 min cooktime)

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+ prepare first:

1. minced ginger
minced onion
minced garlic
^ a few tablespoons of each of above, or more.
3 red chiles (chilis? shit), minced

^ combine and set aside.

2. in a small bowl or ramekin HAHAHA combine two tablespoons plus one teaspoon, each, of soy sauce (i usually use ponzu) and fish sauce, with one heaping tablespoon brown sugar… stir and set aside

3. approx. 1 cup or heaping handful of fresh basil; it would be difficult to have too much. mince & set aside.
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start the rice:
1.25 cups rice in a saucepan… basmati or jasmine probably most appropriate, eh. dump in one 13oz can coconut milk (or approx 1.5 cups other coconut milk) & ¾ cup water; bring to boil, cover & reduce to simmer etc — takes less time than normal rice (~10 min). do not burn. i add a tablespoon of coconut oil toooooo
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once the rice water is on its way, put skillet or wok on high heat (have had predictably favorable results with the cast iron skillet)… i superstitiously give the pan a few “moments” to lose its chill before i…
…add garlic-ginger-onion-chile mixture with 2-3 tablespoons of oil,
stir constantly for 30 seconds to one minute. oftentimes i burn the garlic in my carefreedom, oops. that’s ok. it’s goodbitter
then add about 1.25lbs ground beef & brown (4-6 minutes)…
near the end of the meatcooking: add the soystuff, cook for 30 seconds to 1 minute more, then when the meat is essentially ready, reduce the heat to med-low, add basil & stirrrrrr until it wilts very slightly (20 seconds? it’s quick).
& done.
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DO serve with lime wedges

dry:

1 cup flour — white, or half white/half wheat (attempting coconut flour next time — will require more liquid)
1/4 cup oats
2 tbsp ground flax
2 tbsp ground chia
2 tsp shredded coconut
1.5 tsp baking powder
3/8 teaspoon baking soda
shallow teaspoon cinnamon
shallow teaspoon cacao powder
salt

wet:

1 or 2 eggs as desired, or make a flax or chia egg
1.5 cup cultured goat milk (OR regular goat milk OR buttermilk OR 1 cup milk + 1/4 cup yogurt, etc)
2 tbsp brown sugar
heaping tbsp coconut oil
2 tbsp vanilla extract
optional: 1/3 banana, mashed

combine wet/dry & make. this will require you to slightly re-learn how to make pancakes because, you’ll see.